Oh OTZMA...

Can't believe how far we have come.  Can't believe that we have been here almost 10 months.  How much I have grown, how much I have changed.  How different my life is and will be as this experience comes to an end.

It's so weird to face that fact that it is over.  Where do I go from here?  What will the next few weeks, months and years look like?  Only time will tell I suppose.  I didn't expect a year ago that I would be here now... who can say where I will be?

Of all of the things that I don't know.. there are things that I do know.  I know now that I have friends that will last a lifetime.  I have memories that will last a lifetime and I hope that I have a home that will be a home for me again in this lifetime.  I know that I am a stronger person because of my experiences here in Israel.  The good ones and the bad ones have shaped me and made me into the woman who sits here writing this now.  I know that my outlook has changed.  I know that life has a greater sense of perspective to me now and I hope that this is something that I never lose.  Oh, plus I know enough Hebrew now to get by! אני יכולה לדבר עברית! לֹא כל כך טוב אבל בדרך כלל אנשים מבינים איתי

I also know that I have formed a meaningful connection with Israel, with her people and with my own connection to Judaism.  I may never be religious but I can guarantee one day that when I have children we will celebrate Shabbat together by sitting down to a Shabbat meal.

I also know that the year ahead will be full of challenges.  Adjusting to life without my friends, my OTZMAnikim.  We have something truly unique to people who have participated in OTZMA.  We have been through this experience together and I think that upon our arrival back home, we will lean on each other more heavily than ever as we try to transition back into home life.

My amazing roomies and me!

I lived alone for years and thought that I quite liked it.  But as I thought about it last night as I missed my room mate Tracy who has been busy working on a summit for work.  I was excited to chat with my other roomies when they arrived home from work and was saddened at the realization that we only have one more week living together.  I will miss coming home to an apartment full of people.  Having someone to talk to, make me smile, get my mind off of whatever is stressing me out.  The 5 of us are kind of the perfect room mates.  We have the perfect set-up in our apartment.  We each have our own room so if we want to be alone we can be... but I am finding that I don't relish my alone time like I used to.

The other day I came home after a very tough day.  I was battling it out with the Israeli medical system and the insurance company that we use through OTZMA.  I had been at work until 3 (mostly on the phone with the insurance company all day) and then going back and forth from different doctors until after 9.  I had cried too much throughout the day and finally, defeated, took a cab home, not feeling much better than I had felt when I sought a doctor out to begin with.  I walked in to my apartment, ready to crawl in bed and cry.  Lauren took one look at me "oh, Erin!  You have been crying!?  Come, give me a hug.  Tell me what happened."  I told her about my terrible day.  How stressful it was, how frustrating it was and how helpless I had felt.  Within a few minutes, she had me smiling.  I was feeling much better.  I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face, loving that I have this amazing room mate who can make me feel better just being who she is and understanding what I needed at that moment.

It's nice.  I feel like each of us brings something unique to the room.  First of all, everyone is funny.

B-B-B-Becca AKA Bigman!

Becca brings the goofiness.  She is so innocently sweet and funny... and constantly falling which is ALWAYS hilarious (as long as she doesn't hurt herself!).  Becca is really a character.  She LOVES the Yankees and my goodness, if you get her going about them, good luck!  Everything she does she does with a passion that you wouldn't believe and she brings to much fun and energy to the things that she loves.  Also, ask her about Beit Shean.  She hates it... She'll tell you all about it ;)  Becca and I lived together in Ashkelon along with Tracy and Arielle (we wish Arielle lived with us again too!)

Tracy AKA T-Mac!

Tracy brings the pep, the energy.  Even just the way that she says "Hi!!!!!!!" and "Bye!!!!!!!" are energetic and sure to make anyone smile.  Everything that Tracy says is said with this tone that just makes it perfect.  Tracy's laugh is contagious... partially because she starts making strange noises that it sends whoever is around into a fit of laughter as well.  She and I have lived together twice as well and it just keeps getting better.  I hate that she isn't here with us for our last week!  She is visiting today and I went out and bought delicious cupcakes (or muffins?) to mark the occasion.

Lauren!

Lauren brings the heart and passion.  She is always concerned about how the rest of us are doing, always willing to have a good conversation and I love when she gets laughing about something!  She snorts too!  Lauren and I didn't have the experience living together before we moved to Jerusalem and I really wish that we had.  She is the perfect amount of caring and fun and she is someone who always has her friends backs.  She always wants to make sure that everyone around her is having just as much fun as she is... and they usually are!  She also brings lots of really cute clothing and accessories for all of us to borrow!  I love her style... if only I were her size!!!!

Jen and T-Mac

Jen brings a sense of quiet and calm to the room.  She is my late morning wake-up buddy and I love our morning chats before we go to work.  Jen is another country music fan and, now that I think about it, we need another country music session before this amazing adventure ends.  I also love when Jen gets pumped up to come out... its like she just lights up when we all start dancing together.

I feel like I am being a bit repetitive but I really live with some of the sweetest girls in the world.  Laid back, fun loving, slightly crazy... FUN!  Those are the best words to describe the girls that have become some of my best friends not just in Israel, but in general.  It's going to be so hard living without them!  Where else can you get this kind of free entertainment??

As I sit at work writing this, chatting with my room mates, I can only hope that even though life is going to change for me very shortly, it will continue to be an amazing adventure.  Makes me think of the Dr. Suess book, Oh the Places You'll Go

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!